Splashers beware

To all the splashers in the world, YOU SUCK!

You are not Michael Phelps, not even close, so why the hell are you attempting his butterfly time and time again? A performance that’s more a repeated belly flop sending a bloody tsunami of germ-infested water right smack into my face, up my nose, in my ears, and god forbid if I took a breath at that moment, down my bloody esophagus! Maybe if you had Michael’s super drool-worthy physique, I’d be able to turn my cheek without wishing for a dead weight around your ankles … nah even if it were Michael spraying me like that, I’d want to drop kick him too!

I know it’s a pool we’re occupying, don’t you dare throw that in my face. I’ve come to terms with the wet, and have even stopped cringing at the random droplets of ick creeping down my face as I jog up and down the lanes. But seriously, having half the pool emptied over my head every lap, twice a lap, not cool YOU SUCK!

TONIGHT’S AJ:

• 5:30 p.m. BG before: 4.0 (apple juice box)
• Temp. basal: -100 per cent (1.5 hours)
• Time: 40 minutes
• 6:30 p.m. BG after: 5.4
• Temp. basal: +50 per cent (1 hour)

So tonight (Day 3 of no-knee pressure) was an exercise in avoiding the splashers. There wasn’t just one, nor were there just two – there were four freaking splashers! Are you kidding me?

After last night’s “slow” aqua jogging discovery, I tried to up the intensity tonight. I thought I was doing alright. My breathing halfway through was huffing and puffing, and I felt like I was pushing myself. (Although I lost count of the laps halfway through so I have nothing really to measure it with.) But then, I was brought back to reality. Thanks Tri-Night guy, note the sarcasm.

About four months ago I attended Friday Night Tri Night, and while I really enjoyed myself, and especially enjoyed the super awesome sleep I had that night, I haven’t had a chance to go back. And even though I’ve only been to one session, I know several of the members from running. And so when I ran into Tri-Night guy, we started talking. He asked if I would be joining them for a ride, I said no, not tonight, I’m slowly clawing my way back, don’t want to overdo it, you know. And he said: Yeah, so what’s that you’re doing? Water…walking? Wahn-wahn-wahnnnn.

I bowed my head, tucked my tail between my legs, and “walked” away 🙁

Hope you all get to enjoy a much more fast-paced exercise than me this weekend.