Life with type-1 diabetes is like a set of waves. Managing it comes with many ups and downs, highs and lows, all the emotions, times of somewhat easy going, and times of rough going. Today, I’d like to start a series of T1D stories.
These posts will share some of my T1D stories. Things that stood out over the last 38 years with this condition. Good, bad, hilarious. My hope is that by sharing these T1D stories, it will help
- Enlighten those without type-1 about life with type-1
- Help those with type-1 know that they’re not alone, and
- Create a safe space for T1D conversation.
T1D Stories Part 1: The Needles
I dated a guy once, probably for faaaar too long. He lived with his best friend, not in the best neighbourhood, and their friends were on the shady side too.
This guy’s best friend was angry, probably 90% of the time, but his anger was hidden under an element of older coolness. My girlfriends and I were 17; they were 21.
One day, a group of us were in the basement. The friend was on an anger streak, lashing out at his girlfriend, his mom, another friend who he regularly treated like a lesser person. And then, it was my turn.
He had apparently found some used needles in his yard. He assumed they were mine.
They were not. Remember: the guy lived in a shady neighbourhood and surrounded himself by shady people.
He verbally attacked me, saying that I left my needles anywhere and everywhere without regard for anyone else.
I did not.
Inside I was seething, but outside, I was mute and very close to tears.
He. Knew. This. It was 100% about control, and he knew he had control.
My boyfriend, the one person who could have stood up to him, didn’t say a word. Like I said, I was with the guy for far too long.
Teenage angst. T1D angst.
This is just one story of my life with T1D.
Using needles as an adolescent was not easy in the ‘90s, and I suspect for some people it’s probably still not easy. I remember hearing comments about how I was shooting up again, and yes, it was all in gest. But friends, I was a sensitive teen, and diabetes was not something I wanted to show off. I regularly hid my diabetes; I refused to go on an insulin pump for several years because I didn’t want my diabetes on display. When out in public, I would either take my injections in the washroom (eww!!!) or not take them at all.
That was my teen life with T1D.
That is not a life I care to lead ever again. And it’s not a life I want others to ever lead.
Increasing the volume of my T1D voice
It’s stories like this one that helped develop me into the T1D advocate that I am today.
It took a long time for me to find my voice. I didn’t have it then, but I do now. No one will ever have a chance to speak to me that way again about my T1D.
Ever.
And I hope it’s stories like this one that help you find your voice too.
As people with type-1, we are faced with many life challenges beyond just caring for the diabetes. We have to deal with mass media influences on diabetes (think nearly every single sitcom or hospital drama out there), social media references, and personal comments from friends, family, healthcare, and even strangers about our T1D. All of this can result in an emotional mind mess.
And I guess my message here is that no one knows your T1D like you do. If you don’t like what someone or something is saying about T1D, try to find your voice, no matter what that voice looks like. That 17-year-old me, should have stood up, walked out the door, climbed into my car, and never returned.
That would have been a great voice!
*This series is about sharing some of my T1D stories, opening up the conversation, inviting you to share yours if you feel comfortable, but also hoping that some of you will realize your stories are not solitary. The more we speak, hopefully the less these stories will be.