Splashers beware
To all the splashers in the world, YOU SUCK! You are not Michael Phelps, not even close, so why the hell are you attempting his butterfly time and time again? A performance that’s more a repeated belly flop sending a bloody tsunami of germ-infested water right smack into my face, up my nose, in my ears, and god forbid if I took a breath at that moment, down my bloody esophagus! Maybe if you had Michael’s super drool-worthy physique, I’d be able to turn my cheek without wishing for a dead weight around your ankles … nah even if it were Michael spraying me like that, I’d want to drop kick him too! I know it’s a pool we’re occupying, don’t you dare throw that in my face. I’ve come to terms with the wet, and have even stopped cringing at the random droplets of ick creeping down my face […]