I’ve been struggling, struggling hard – mentally, emotionally, physically.
I am not a super social person. I love interactions with people, but mostly small group or one-on-one interactions. I’m not one who longs to go to parties; I’m more comfortable with my nose in a book or curled up on the couch watching a movie.
Yet, when all opportunity of social interactions has been forced from me, I find myself wishing for it.
Wishing I could go see my mom, or hang out with my sister, or go for beers with my favourite New West chickies, or go for a run with my Saturday running friend.
Or, maybe it’s just the outdoors my mind, body, and blood sugars are longing for.
My 14-days of quarantine took its toll on my blood sugars, and my continued self isolation isn’t doing much better for my psyche.
Even though I was sneaking out for runs super early in the morning, or getting on the bike trainer for a session with the Peloton app, my blood sugars were non-stop highs.
No matter how many bolus corrections or increased temporary basals I programmed, they stayed on the high continuum. No matter how many replacement pods I tried, or new insulin I injected my readings kept presenting highs, highs, highs.
I was freaking out.
If you’ve been reading this website for awhile now, you’ll know that I don’t function well with highs.
I’m sure it’s the stress and anxiety of this corona-crisis causing them.
Anxieties over my indefinitely suspended practicum.
Anxieties over the prospect of having to homeschool my child.
Anxieties over not being a good enough mom during this time of isolation.
Anxieties of the world falling apart outside our bubble.
Anxieties over not getting enough exercise.
Anxieties over not eating the right foods.
Anxieties over those high blood sugars, which causes those high blood sugars to go even higher.
Bloody freaking hell.
Needless to say, I was pretty desperate when I plugged in Yoga With Adrienne’s meditation session.
Generally speaking, I don’t do yoga and I don’t do meditation. I’ve never really felt like they calmed me. My mind is in a permanent state of running in all sorts of directions, and I struggle to turn it off. I remember one of my early sessions of yoga years ago when the instructor had us visualizing lying on a beach, listening to the waves of the ocean clapping, and the birds tweeting overhead.
This did NOT calm me.
I kid you not, I visualized the birds pooping on me!
But on Day 13 of Quarantine, that meditation session saved me.
Those 15 minutes of deep, controlled breathing turned the corner for my blood sugars. The arrows started trending down. And when my blood sugars finally re-entered the in-target zone, they stayed there – for hours. The knots and clenching of my stomach eased. I was able to laugh at the quirkiness of my child without clouds of angst behind my eyes. I was able to have a conversation about future projects with my husband, without worrying if I’ll ever get there.
I’ve missed these parts of my life.
I hope they continue.
What do you do to relieve stresses in your life?